Just another Fall day....

Tomorrow I am supposed to begin a weekend of dog sitting the most precious dog I've ever known. Her name is Chloe, and if you have met her then you know what I mean. She is sweet and adorable, and has some of the most innocent-looking puppy dog eyes ever, though she is actually smarter and more clever than she lets on to be. She was my old roommate's dog and in the year that I lived there she reached her goal of making me into a dog person, or at least a Chloe person. I don't think her job was too hard... Did I mention she is a cute little Yorkie?

Anyways, I had no intention of writing tonight; I was actually going to get my clothes out of the dryer and pack. But the clothes are not yet dry and one of my roommies now is asleep in our room, which means packing is out of the question until the morning. I guess writing is more fun anyways... There are very few things I hate doing more than packing! But I'm not really sure what to say tonight either, which means there is a possibility of some ramblings. I apologize in advance. :)

Sometime last week began our first day of Fall for this year! I'm so excited. I love Fall... All the leaves turning orange and yellow and eventually floating to the ground; the sky being blue and the sun popping out but the days turning cooler; the possibility of huddling around bonfires with hoodies on and smores cooking.... It's glorious. I'm very excited about this season. Right now our windows are open and you can smell the crisp clean air from outside swirling in and hear the sound of crickets chirping their songs in the grass, along with some hints of traffic in the distance. Everything seems so peaceful late at night; maybe that's why I stay up so late all the time.

One of the things I've been pondering lately (wow, that makes me sound all wise and stuff) is how self absorbed I am. And most of the USA, for that matter. I saw a statistic the other day that said by 2020 (I think) 75% of Americans will be overweight. Not too shocking there... But then I heard another statistic that said 1 out of 7 people are living in poverty right now, which is like an all-time high or something. And I don't know, I just think there seems to be something wrong with this picture. While we're getting fatter and lazier, there are more and more people who are going without.

I wish I had something a bit happier to write about tonight, but I really wanted to write about what was on my mind. I think God is helping me realize how much I have so that I can help someone else. And maybe He's given me this burden for a reason, maybe to inspire others or just to make my heart become more in step with His. The prayer I've prayed a lot lately is "Break my heart for what breaks Yours", and I truly mean it. I want my life to mean more than just a photographer or student or friend. I'm definitely a change in the making, and as long as I'm here will continue to be. But I am excited about where this newfound passion may take me! I hope God will use me for His glory and for His purpose, and that I will lose myself in Him. Because looking in the mirror is not anywhere close to how exciting it is to look out the window.

I hope that you will have a great, fun-filled, Fall weekend and that you will allow your eyes to be opened to the other people God has specifically placed in your life. I hope you know His love and His grace and His goodness, and that you will find whatever passion He made just for you and pursue it. I hope that we will all realize how precious life is and be thankful not only for our possessions but also for those little moments of peace and beauty. I hope we take a minute to look out the window and see the world around us, to listen to the stories of others, and to forget about ourselves for just a few minutes. Throw that mirror down. :)

My little boy :)

Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say, and if I don't say it to somebody my heart is going to explode. I think sometimes we just need to have a voice, to say something whether or not anyone says anything back. So here goes. :)

A few weeks ago I was at a concert that featured some of my favorite bands. Tenth Avenue North (my favorite at the moment), Francesca Battistelli, and Jason Gray..... All very good. I was super pumped about this because I’d had the tickets for a few months and the day was finally here! I was there with my dad for his birthday and I must say, for being so old (haha) he has really good taste in music... I guess I come by it naturally. ;) But anyways, it was definitely worth the wait! It was a great concert, all the bands did a great job. No surprise there!

In between some of the music they had a guy from one of the groups talk about this organization called World Vision. What World Vision does is like a sponsorship thing, where you pick out a card with a child’s picture and a little profile about them and you pay a certain amount each month to provide that child with food, clothing, medical care, an education, etc. All the children are living in poverty, most of them are in like Africa or something. Some live in villages where AIDS is rampant, some live where clean water is scarce. There were pictures playing on the screen of different kids and stories along with them that would break your heart.

Or should.

So the thing was, I had heard it all, seen it all before. And this time was no different. I wasn’t all emotional about it. I could see the pictures and not cringe, I could see the tears running down the little boy’s face and just think, “well I bet that picture was staged...” But the guy asked us to just pray about it and see if God was leading us to support these kids through World Vision. And I did. I told God if there was a kid on a card at the table with my birthday (March 11th) then I would go support it. But I wasn’t going to spend the night looking for it.

We got a break after he talked and I went to the World Vision table to kind of skim over it. But when I got there I realized the cards were sorted... by month. I asked the lady behind the table if they had any March 11th ones and she brought back two cards, each with a picture of a little boy. My heart kind of sunk, and I was like “God, which one do I sponsor?” Then I wanted to get both of them because having to choose just seemed totally unfair. But I finally decided on one of them and went back to my seat to fill out the little form.

By the time I made it back to the table to drop off the card I felt like I had just adopted this little boy or something! I wanted to show his picture off to everyone and let them know how old he was and show them his little paragraph of information. Not in a “Look what I did, I’m so good” way, but in a “Look how cute he is!” proud parent kind of way. It was an amazing feeling to actually feel something for this kid halfway across the world who doesn’t even know my name, but who I was able to provide for. When I made that decision to help him out something inside of me broke, but in a good way. I wasn’t as numb as I had been before to the stories or faces of these little kids who were going through so much, especially compared to me.

So last week I was watching some HGTV and they were showing an episode of this couple who was spending $20,000 on landscaping their yard. When I heard that I kind of flipped out on the inside. Twenty thousand dollars. On the outside of your house. To make your house look nicer. Good. Grief.

My next thought was, “What could that little boy do with $20,000?” People are starving, going without clean water, living in communities where AIDS is thriving, and we are over here spending thousands of dollars on grass and flowers.

I’m sure this thinking was kind of judgmental or whatever, because I honestly don’t know how I would spend my money if I was rich enough to afford that kind of luxury landscaping. Maybe I’d get a better camera and camera gear, or nicer clothes, or a sweet car. Maybe I’d take a vacation around the world, to see places like London and Paris. And maybe I’d be nice enough to take my friends along.... maybe.

So I’m not saying I’m better than anyone else because I’m not. But I’m just thinking that maybe we should let God actually change our thinking around a little bit. How much of my time and effort is spent on me? How many things could I live without that I think I have to have? How many decisions do I make each day that are made with only myself in mind?

I don’t have a magic formula for living a better life or whatever. I know it takes prayer, it takes God, but it also takes some action on our part. In James it talks about showing our faith by our actions. I think half the time when we say we are just praying to see where God is leading He’s just waiting for us to do something. He’s already commanded us to help the orphans and widows. To care for those who can’t care for themselves. To love our neighbors as we love ourselves. (Would you spend $20,000 on your neighbor’s yard? Would you send money each month to a kid across the world who likes to play with dolls and has big brown eyes that are squinting in the midday sun?) Why do we have to be told again and again to do something before we actually do it?

I can’t count how many times I have heard of organizations like World Vision who have sponsorship programs for these children and families in poverty. I know for years I’ve seen their pictures and heard their stories. But it never really hit me until I actually did something to help that little 4 year old. Now it’s slowly effecting the way I think about different things. And now I get that warm fuzzy feeling that comes when you know you did something that was actually making a positive difference for someone else.

I just want to say that it’s worth it to go for it. I love the fact that for a split second I am able to turn my eyes away from myself and actually care for someone else. I love that God cares for us enough to share the joy of giving with us. He provides us with stuff so that we can give stuff to other people. And in turn He makes us a little more like Himself. I think that’s just beautiful. :)

“Come on, if you’re tired take a step outside You might find you can forget about yourself tonight Yeah, come if you’re tired of your failed attempts to try Freedom is waiting when you look outside Well come on, come on Let’s throw our mirrors down Yeah come on, come on Let’s shatter the glass on the ground....” --House of Mirrors, By Tenth Avenue North